Věrka has been living on the streets since she was 15. This year, she’ll turn 42, and although many things in her life have changed, one remains the same. “To lie in a bathtub, pour a glass of wine, light a cigarette, and turn on the TV. That’s all,” she says when I ask what she misses the most. These little things, part of everyday life for most of us, are something Věrka has been missing for years.
For her, an ordinary life means something entirely different than it does for most people. Instead of a bedroom, she has a shelter made from a light grey tent, which she and her husband Lukáš have had for just a year, but which already needs replacing because it’s full of mold. Instead of a bathroom, she has wet wipes and a nearby drop-in center where she can shower. And because they don’t have a door to protect their valuables, they have to carry a heavy green backpack everywhere, filled with everything important. Lukáš jokingly calls it “a lady’s handbag.” “Just try it and see how heavy it is. We carry it everywhere with us, everything important is in there,” says Věrka.
She adds that the backpack also contains treats for their chihuahua, Verunka, and a Kaštany chocolate bar. “It holds everything I have. If I left it somewhere unattended, someone would take it. So I always have to carry it with me,” she says.
Life on the street isn’t just about protecting her belongings, it’s also about protecting herself. As a woman, she lives in constant fear and feels unsafe. Life on the streets offers women no advantage, rather the opposite. “Everyone thinks you just put on a tank top and that’s it, you know, so you must be… but no, it’s the opposite,” she says. When I ask if she’s ever experienced a truly terrible situation, she pauses and says she’d rather not talk about it. But her expression says plenty.
This particular incident happened when she was still living in Prague, which she says was rougher. Even now in Brno, she can’t say she feels any safer. “I feel better when my husband is with me—then I feel safe. But when he’s not around, I’m scared. I really am. That’s why I carry a knife and pepper spray, which my husband gave me,” says Věrka. When asked if she’s ever had to use it, she replies yes. “On myself I wanted to try it out, so I sprayed it in my own eyes. But now at least I know how it works,” she laughs.
Her laughter is bitter, but it’s real. Just like the fear that follows her every night when she hears the voices of drunks, addicts, or someone who could throw a burning bottle at their tent at any moment. The fear lingers during the day too. Not long ago, a shopkeeper near their spot threatened their friend by saying he’d burn all the homeless people.
“So now I can’t go almost anywhere, because Lukáš worries about me like crazy,” says Věrka.
Despite all the hardship, she maintains her femininity, something she’s carried with her all her life. “I used to put on makeup every morning, eyeshadow, mascara… I never needed lipstick,” she says. When asked if she enjoyed it, she answers in her signature style: “Like hell I did.” These days, she doesn’t wear makeup because her husband doesn’t like it, so she saves it for special occasions.
What hasn’t changed, though, is her passion for jewelry, more than she could ever wear. “My husband recently bought me new earrings, and since they cost five crowns, he told me to take at least three pairs. So I did, bright orange ones, because that’s his favorite color and I wanted to look nice for him.”
It’s not just earrings that help her feel like a woman. She also wears over ten rings. “I had custom jewelry from my mother-in-law, even with a bit of gold in it, but it was stolen,” Věrka says. “They don’t realize how much it hurts the other person. And those were memories of my deceased husband. Now it’s all gone to hell,” she says.
Although being a woman on the street is far from easy, Věrka has found a way to express her care, especially for the stomachs of those closest to her. Cooking, for her, is more than a necessity, it’s a passion, and maybe the last luxury she can still afford. “Like hell I love it,” she says without hesitation when asked if she enjoys it.
She won’t let go of her cooking spoon, but Lukáš helps out, he might chop an onion or choose the meat. “But it’s always Věrka who cooks,” Lukáš adds. She jokingly calls herself “à la Věrka,” because her recipes follow no set rules. “Everything with everything, and the pot is full,” she explains. And even if they lose some ingredients, like pasta or rice, which they say are often stolen, peas and beans usually remain. “But I don’t eat that stuff,” she says with typical humor.
When she makes potato salad, she doesn’t go small. Last time, she made it from six kilos of potatoes because Lukáš kept coming back for more. “First he says, ‘You all have some,’ and then it’s gone,” she laughs. Even in the food, you can feel that Věrka cooks with love. For others, for Lukáš. And also maybe for the feeling of home, even if just for a little while.
And although her relationship with her own family isn’t ideal, her bond with her husband and their 13-year-old chihuahua Verunka is deep and tender. “Verunka is my girl. This Easter she even got a little tap on the butt, but just a light one, so she doesn’t ‘dry out’,” she laughs when talking about her dog. “Sometimes I call her Terezka, that’s my daughter’s name.”
Věrka has a painful past, including the moment when her daughter was taken from her as a small child. Today, she has no contact with her, but the memories are still alive. “The doctor showed me a little dot on the monitor, and I started crying. I was so happy because I’d always wanted a baby. And then the police tore her from my arms out on the street,” Věrka says, tears in her eyes. She adds she couldn’t even buy her a cookie, even though she happened to have money for one that day. “She’ll be 18 this July, and I don’t even have a way to contact her,” she sobs, and wishes not to talk about this further.
“Of course. Tell me one last thing, if you had any advice for women who find themselves in a similar situation, what would it be?” I ask at the end. “Act like a man,” she answers without hesitation. “Don’t show fear. Because that’s what gives me the strength to keep going and not be so afraid.”
